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JoKeS
Joke #1
Joke #2
Joke #3
Joke #4
Joke #5
Joke #1
Once GOD
invited Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates to dinner. He
said to them, "I wanted to call the three most important
people on earth to ask them to convey this message to their
people that I shall Destroy the whole world tommarow." Boris
Yeltsin went to his people and said, "People I have 2 bad
news for you...one that GOD exists and the second that he is
going to destroy us all tommarow." Bill Clinton went to his
people and said, "I have a good news and a bad news for you
all...the good news is that god exists and the bad news is that
he is going to destroy us all tommarow." Bill Gates went to
his people and conveyd, "I have two good news for you
all.."he continued, "One that I'm amongst the three
most important people on Earth and the second that the Y2K
problem has been solved."
* * * *
*
Joke #2
Once a Priest and a Rabbi got
into a car accident. The Rabbi quickly recognised the Priest from
his collar. He said to the Priest that them being saved from such
an awful accident can be sign from GOD that they should be
friends. The Priest agreed and they both shook hands. Then the
Rabbi took out a wine bottle from his car. The wine bottle was
not harmed at all. The Rabbi said that this must be a sign from
GOD that they should drink it to their friendship. The Priest
agreed again and the Rabbi offered him the bottle. The Priest
drank half the bottle and than realized that the Rabbi wasn't
drinking. The Priest asked in amazement, "Ain't u going to
drink it?" The Rabbi answered, "No, I'll just wait for
the COPS."
* * * * *
Joke #3
A duck
walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The
bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers. The
next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender
for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar
doesn't serve quackers. Sure enough, the very next day, the duck
again walks into the bar and asks for some quackers. The
bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here one more
time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and
some nails! "
A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again. The
bartender notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!"
The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?"The bartender
replies, "No!" The duck asks, "Do you have any
nails?"The bartender replies, "No!" The duck grins
and asks, "Do you have any quackers?"
* * * * *
Joke #4
When Bill Gates died, the GOD seemed to have troubles deciding to which 2nd world should he send Bill to. So to be on the safer side, the GOD asked Bill to explore and choose his 2nd world himself. Bill took a trip to hell and found it completely beautiful. The beauty of hell was the beach and the sun and the surf and the sand and above of all...the babes. Bill got completely fascinated. The next trip was to heaven. It was good, ok to be precise..but nothing compared to the beach. So Bill made up his mind and he decided to take on hell. After a few days GOD thought he should better check out how Bill was doing. On reaching hell, GOD found Bill in a miserable state. All the devils were pocking on him and he was being burnt in the oil. The GOD went up to him to and asked," Why Bill, you don't look so happy! What happened?". Bill said," I don't know GOD, when I came here before, it was better than heaven..I mean it was complete BaYwAtCh scene...but now GOD you can see yourself. I don't know what happened. What happened to my beach?". "Oh that" GOD continued," That was just a SCREENSAVER!"
* * * * *
Joke #5
Jerry asked GOD, "GOD, how much is 1 million years to you?" The GOD answered, "It's nothing more than 1 second to me". "GOD" asked Jerry again, "How much is 1 million dollars to you?". GOD answered, "It's nothing more than a dollar." Jerry thought for a second and asked, "Well GOD, can I have a dollar?". "Sure" said GOD, "In a sec".
[MaIn PaGe]
[PaLs]